Ep. 175 Kate Starr – Why Your Nervous System Isn’t Healing, How Soma Neuro Alignment May be the Missing Piece

Leigh Ann: [00:00:00] Hello, happy Monday. Welcome back to the Accrescent podcast. I’m your host, Leigh Ann Lindsey, and for once I don’t have any housekeeping or updates, so I am going to jump right into today’s episode and today’s guest. I am sitting down with Kate Starr. She is a certified nervous system regulation practitioner with a master’s degree in public health specializing in behavior change in women’s from George Washington University.

As a nervous system coach, she helps ambitious, driven women overcome burnout and chronic stress through holistic nervous system regulation techniques. Through extensive research and personal experience, Kate developed her unique approach, Soma Neuroalignment. When she noticed that many nervous system practitioners specialized in one or two areas of regulation But few had created a method to combine both psychological and physiological modalities into one powerful subconscious practice [00:01:00] this is the reason we reached out to Kate to have her on the show because You guys might know I’ve been having these conversations a lot more lately that Nervous system work by itself, this is what I feel, nervous system work by itself is not always enough.

And Kate and I even talk about this in the episode, that nervous system talk is becoming a lot more popular, kind of in vogue right now. But a lot of practitioners or pages or profiles out there are really touting it as, you know, all you need to do is nervous system work. And this is The missing piece in healing, but her and I are very much in agreement that Just nervous system work alone can be a huge piece of the puzzle It’s not the only piece of the puzzle and in my opinion We can’t even just doing nervous system work can still be treating a symptom of something deeper Right.

We need to be asking [00:02:00] the question Well, why is my nervous system dysregulated in the first place? If your nervous system is dysregulated because of a past traumatic event, yes, doing present day nervous system techniques can help support balancing, but at some point we do need to go address that root cause.

Likewise, if your nervous system is completely frazzled and taxed or shut down because your lifestyle is, you know, chaotic and way overextended, And you can bandaid that with nervous system work that sort of helps mitigate the damage. But at some point we need to address what is causing that dysregulation.

So I love, I love, love, love that Kate is addressing both the physiological and psychological, particularly when it comes to addressing unconscious elements to this. And I think this was a really fantastic practical conversation on the nervous system. So please enjoy this conversation with Kate Starr.[00:03:00]

So a brand that I just discovered this year and have been absolutely obsessed with it is the fullest saffron latte I actually had nikki bostwick the founder of the fullest on the podcast that episode is 156 for any who want to go back and listen to it and i’ll make sure it’s linked in the show notes below as well the episode but After I had this conversation with her I immediately ran out and bought the saffron latte powder and it is So delicious.

I drink it every single evening and it’s become such a beautiful ritual for me because i’m such a beverage girly I love having different beverages to drink throughout the day, but to also have something in the evening that has no caffeine Such clean ingredients, but what you’ll guys hear if you haven’t listened to that podcast episode yet is that the studies have found recently that saffron at a certain dose at a certain dose is Just as [00:04:00] effective as prozac for helping Anxiety, depression, ADHD, and so it’s something that I have absolutely loved myself.

I feel like I’ve noticed a difference in my general countenance being even more uplifted, calm, grounded, especially for me in this time of a lot of change, and it’s something I have been recommending so So much lately to clients, to some of my cancer patients because of how clean it is. And there’s so many other benefits outside of the mood support, the anxiety, the depression.

It’s super anti inflammatory, anti cancerous, but it’s become kind of my product of the year that I’m just like, Oh my God, how can I get everyone to try this? So they have the latte powder, which I absolutely love and the dosage of saffron in the latte powder is the highest But they also have capsules that you can take that still meet that minimum dosage that has been studied And the capsules are a little bit a little bit less expensive as [00:05:00] well So really encourage you guys check out the link below in the show notes for discount codes holiday sales And give the fullest a try Okay, it’s so fun to have you on the Accrescent podcast.

We were just chatting before I hit record that there’s a lot of crossover in what we do, which is why I’m so excited. And I, I love bringing people on who are really multifaceted and multidimensional, not that there’s anything wrong with really narrowing in on one specific thing, but I just think we’re so diverse.

and bioindividual as humans that it’s like the more little nuance we can bring to what we do, the more impactful it’s going to be. So anyways, with all that said, welcome.

Kate Starr: Thank you so much for having me. I couldn’t agree more, right? Like everyone’s journey looks different and it’s so fabulous to connect with practitioners who are in that same mindset and knowing that it’s individualized, right?

Leigh Ann: Yeah, a thousand percent. I always like to start. I did a little bit of research. So I know a [00:06:00] little bit of your history, but I love, love, love and origin story. And I know the audience does too. I think it just brings us into why are you doing what you’re doing today? So as much as you’re comfortable, if you could share a little bit of what got you into this work, into this world.

Oh, my God. Absolutely.

Kate Starr: So like, I think many healing or health practitioners, it came from my own experience. And I always like to say my program in some ways, and my coaching style is founded more on what like didn’t work and what like made things worse than sometimes it is on what did work, right? Like it took so much trial and error.

Um, you know, I had spent my life, I think, as many of us and many of my clients as well have living in elements of perfectionism, people pleasing, um, walking on eggshells, um, really taking experiences that happened in my past to put shame on myself, like seeing them as I was bad or I was wrong or I needed to be perfect [00:07:00] in some way.

And I had an interesting dynamic where I had this like super amazing strong mom who was there and such a great support and a father who wasn’t and though they were divorced was really a catalyst or perpetuator of those types of narratives for

Leigh Ann: me.

Kate Starr: And so heading into, you know, young adulthood and all of that, I mean, to me, accolades, success, like career, all of these things were the markers of being a healthy.

Acceptable, you know, number of society. And I think by nature of that, I surrounded myself with communities that felt similar, right?

Leigh Ann: Um,

Kate Starr: I think my biggest coping mechanism was like academics, which is so funny. I loved homework. I loved like going back to school. I, you know, it’s some people’s worst nightmare, right?

Leigh Ann: But

Kate Starr: I always talk about how certain types of coping mechanisms are really societally celebrated while others. aren’t so much. So overexercising, you know, overworking, [00:08:00] um, overstudying. We see these as like, oh, that’s a driven, successful person. They’re doing good. Um, but on the flip side of that, I struggled with overdrinking over socializing.

So I was out all the time. My sleep hygiene was terrible. You know, my, my eating schedule and all of that was totally off, right? So for me, my story combines an element of the way I set up my life in later adulthood to guarantee burnout, essentially, but also, you know, having trauma in my background and having complex trauma in my background.

So I eventually, while I was working in international health, um, you know, kind of in like my mid twenties hit what I now know is a dorsal bagel shutdown. And I know we’re going to maybe touch on some nervous system states and all of that, but essentially somebody who has never struggled with depression, never felt that she struggled with anxiety, um, attention issues, anything like that, um, what felt like suddenly being unable to get out of [00:09:00] bed for months.

Right. Having to take an emergency medical leave, which ended up lasting almost a year, um, feeling completely stuck in my past, like flashbacks, nightmares, et cetera, et cetera. And unable to see a way forward. Right. Um, and that is where curiosity, like saved my life, curiosity and good people and support.

Right. Because I got to a place where, despite my. You know, classic driven kind of mentality. I couldn’t fathom the idea of carrying forward and I didn’t know where to go. So I like to say, I want to like eat, pray, love, nervous system regulation kind of thing. And I booked it to all these different places around the country, trying all different types of healing modalities, practitioners, like.

Going into way too much debt, but really with this determination of like, I am going to figure this out and I’m going to heal. Um, and eventually I did and it took a lot longer than I thought. And it was a complex [00:10:00] process, but that combined with, you know, returning for my master’s in health, um, getting background and behavior change theory and how we actually get individuals to change and shift beliefs and change and shift habits.

Um, and my training and nervous system regulation work has really set the foundation for my program. Yes, but also like the way that I show up for my clients and the kind of safeness that I create and how I coach on a day to day.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, I just resonate with that so deeply because I, I had, I think a similar experience in terms of hyper productive all through college on the soccer team at my university, taking 22 credits with a side job, like all the things.

And at some point in my kind of mid twenties, I’d say it felt like I had that crash to where all of a sudden it was just like, What happened? Why could I do so much [00:11:00] before? And now some days it’s like truly such an effort to get myself to do the dishes, you know, and it’s very jarring. And I empathize with people so much who don’t understand what’s happening at the time.

I didn’t understand what was happening either. It really rocks your self confidence. At least it did for me, because you just start to feel like, did I just lose all my motivation? What’s going on here? Why could I do so much before? And now I just can barely do the basics of daily living. It really shakes your confidence.

And same thing when I started learning about the nervous system in some of those different states, it’s very empowering to be able to understand what’s happening and that you’re not broken. Something didn’t just randomly go haywire. Yeah, there’s real reasons for this and then being able to understand what that is and then how to actually start to repair that in a way that’s sustainable and getting at some of the root.

And this is what I’m so excited to [00:12:00] get into. There’s so many facets of this. I can’t wait to hear your perspective on, but I think a good starting point, cause we’re already throwing around terms like nervous system, you know, dorsal vagal shutdown. I do think it would be helpful to just start with. Okay.

what is the nervous system? What is it doing? And then I would love to go into the different states of the nervous system with kind of like maybe some quick examples of signs and symptoms for each state so that people as they’re listening can start to go, okay, that might be a state. I’m in a lot now that you’re pointing out some of the specifics.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. Yeah. So You know, when we’re talking about stress and burnout, and that kind of like full feeling of loss of motivation, loss of like who I was before, right? Um, we’re really referring to a response or really reaction within the autonomic nervous system, right? And the autonomic nervous system, having two arms, our sympathetic and our parasympathetic, we see our sympathetic as [00:13:00] the classic fight, flight, freeze that many of us have heard or our survival responses, right?

And the parasympathetic is our kind of, it’s called rest and digest, but really it’s, you know, being able to chill out on the couch and like, be okay and feel calm and, and re regulate yourself. Right? There’s like a delicate balance between both, and we were kind of talking on before how no matter how healed you are, there’s You need to be stressed or go into a survival response at times, but what can start to happen is we feel like we’re living in that sympathetic kind of overload, and it’s fully overbearing or parasympathetic, um, to the point where we’re really just managing stress that’s always there as opposed to feeling that, you know, we’re able to come out.

How do you deal with stress? of that stress state? Polyvagal theory was really foundational for me and understanding kind of the different stages of the nervous system. Um, and what polyvagal theory does is it places these different stages on a ladder for [00:14:00] us, right? And at the top is our safe and social.

This is where we are feeling, you know, like we have a good tolerance of stress, right? That we are able to really respond in an appropriate or You know, reasonable way to stressful events and that predominantly we are feeling connected to ourselves for the world around us. We are feeling. Safe and that we are able from that safety to be creative or to rest and not feel like we have to do another task, or, um, we’re not run by, you know, work or only family obligations, right?

And once we kind of come down the ladder from that safe and social, we get to our fight flight, which is almost in the middle of the ladder. And that is really where you’ll see a lot of stuff on, like, Hi, cortisol and feeling kind of overwhelmed and like you almost can get addicted to a level of adrenaline and chaos and feeling like you can almost never get a break.

Like something [00:15:00] just keeps happening to you. There’s always another shoe that’s about to drop. Like you’re just living in this very high intensity state. And I talk about cortisol. I don’t. I like it under the umbrella of nervous system regulation, but I don’t think it’s always the best measure for what’s going on in our subconscious, right?

We don’t have to test for our subconscious state. We just have blood work for our hormone levels. But generally if you see somebody talking about that, that’s kind of the state they’re speaking to. Now, at the bottom of the ladder in, um, the polyvagal theory, right? We have dorsal vagal shutdown. And so dorsal vagal shutdown is what I experienced.

It sounds like what you experienced to a degree. Um, or maybe fully, however you resonate with it. And that is really where. We’ve gotten to such a high level of stress for so long that our mind and body essentially admit deceit. And instead of having to continue to live in that high intensity stress ongoing for [00:16:00] what seems like it could be, you know, perpetual, right?

The body and mind start to shut down, dissociate, numb, because it is the best thing. Way to protect ourselves through getting through the kind of chronic experience of stress. Um, one of the ways I describe it often is like, if you picture an animal locked in a cage in the, you know, first couple hours or days, they will fight.

They will try and get out. They’ll bark, they’ll like, you know, pop the door, whatever. And over time, if that animal realizes that isn’t working, they will kind of become subdued. They’ll just become, you know, very tired and beaten up and no energy. That is that kind of shutdown state, free state that they’re going into.

Now, one thing I’ll say is there’s this term functional freeze that goes around a lot. And I really love this because if you think about those three stages of the ladder, like there’s a lot of room between those states and stages, right? And so functional freeze, I would place personally between the kind of [00:17:00] sympathetic fight flight state and the dorsal bagel shutdown.

And so this is where we find that. We’re able to almost have bursts of energy often in areas that we define our worth by we feel like it is a necessity to our survival to give everything to work or give everything to our partner and kids needs during the day, and we lose sight of our own needs. And then you can see how this would naturally come into a more fully shut down state when eventually that energy runs out and you can’t keep running.

On zero on empty when you haven’t been supporting yourself through that responsibility.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, you put up a great post I was looking at yesterday of that. It’s kind of that example of I resonate with functional free so much. It’s that example of and I love this because I don’t think people. can always recognize when they’re in it.

But I think you said something about you can respond to all your work emails, but you can’t text your friends and [00:18:00] family back. You can get all of your work tasks done, but then you get home and like making dinner and doing laundry is just way too much for you. And, and so it’s sort of like when you’re, when you’re off.

you are off. You are not functional anymore. You’re not able to do some of the other things that you really do need to do. You’re just able, you have just enough gas in the tank to like get the few things that we perceive as being the most important done. And then everything else gets left to the wayside.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. Yeah. And I, I think that speaks to why there’s a lot of frustration around like. How do I know? How do I know if I’m dysregulated? There is no test for it. Your cortisol is going to be high at work and then like lower when you’re kind of crashing at the end of the day, right? And I think that speaks to the importance of continuing to share this information in a more widespread way, because ultimately, one of the most powerful things you can do in your healing is make a decision of what you resonate with and go that [00:19:00] direction for yourself.

And that is the experience that most of my clients have is going, Oh, my God, like understanding how the nervous system works biologically, that we are wired towards survival and then understanding that this work, you know, isn’t just for somebody who’s chronically dysregulated. It’s for anyone at any stage of wanting to better handle stress and feel like.

They don’t get into a stuck state is a really powerful, you know, kind of realization

Leigh Ann: to that point. I think you’re making such a great point and we can get into this more, but it’s sort of right. There’s maybe the big looming question for some listeners of why is this even important? Why should I care about the nervous system?

Why should I do anything if I’m not chronically stressed, if I’m not feeling chronically shut down or frozen? And it’s one of those things that the nervous system impacts almost every single function in the body. So having a baseline understanding of this is going to come into play in your life at some point.

[00:20:00] But this is actually what we were talking about off air before we started recording was It can be so preventative when you understand your nervous system and how it works and you have good nervous system hygiene in your day to day. This is going to be impactful for two massive reasons. One, you are going to prevent a ton of stress from even showing up in the first place, because you have that hygiene, because you’re nurturing yourself regularly before it gets bad.

You’re going to prevent a lot of those really, really bad moments with that daily hygiene. But the second thing is when some of those big life things happen, I had this happen in, I think, 2020. to 2021 2022. I had a big kind of early childhood trauma that surfaced and I was working through it and it was one of those things where even though it was so painful and so heavy, I also, like we were talking about before, because of all the daily work I did.

I could have these moments of [00:21:00] true devastation and hurt and pain and fear. And yet the foundation was of safety. And so it was such a complete, it was a reverse of rather than like, Oh my God, the rug’s been pulled out from under me. I am totally unstable. It’s I’m having a moment of fear, a moment of panic, a moment of hurt of grief while still standing on this really, really firm foundation.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. And, you know, One thing my qualm with like some of some types of therapy practices or maybe the mental health industry in general Is there doesn’t seem to be enough focus on resourcing on grounding on creating a foundation of safety before heading into difficult past experiences or present difficult experiences, right?

Um, you know, you do not have to identify with trauma to do nervous system healing. In fact, most of my clients choose not to identify with trauma. [00:22:00] It’s just a recognition that no one comes out unscathed because when we’re younger, we don’t have nuance. So that adult yells at me, I’m going to take it as I did something wrong now as an adult, I would see it as like, Oh, they’re going through their own thing.

Like, that’s not my problem. Right? So none of us come. Out of our childhood and teenage years without built in protection that came from a misinterpretation, given how young we were at the time.

Leigh Ann: Right?

Kate Starr: And I think that with that in mind, everyone will need different levels of support for their nervous system.

And maybe somebody isn’t struggling with chronic stress, but you’re right. It’s, it’s preventative instead of prescriptive. That is a really powerful way to approach your health and healing because you feel unshakable, right? Like I have a deep deep self trust and knowing that I will always be okay now, right?

And that gives me confidence that expands me It allows me to open myself up vulnerably to other people in a way that I [00:23:00] never could have you know I think also Because I’ve been through trauma therapy as well. And I, I remember I would always hear this, like sit with your feelings, sit with your emotions.

And there’s this tendency now to think that that just means the uncomfortable or like difficult ones. Right. You don’t really think that nervous system regulation work changes the narrative to go. No, no. I’d like you to sit in the really amazing ones. Joyful, like ask, like, Oh my God, life is so good moments.

At least twice as much, if not like 10 times as much as you sit in the discomfort, right? And that is a really cool reframe for anyone in the world in a world that is, you know, set up around expectations of constant productivity, constant, you know, focusing on other people’s needs or career needs over your own.

It’s kind of like its own little revolution.

Leigh Ann: Mm hmm. Oh my gosh. A thousand percent. I love that you’re saying this because I work with, I work with a lot of [00:24:00] cancer patients, but in general, a big sort of overarching umbrella I’m looking at is what is repressed. And then of course we’re looking at unconscious imprints and limiting beliefs, but repressed emotions are so big.

And to your point, exactly. It’s Hey, yes, maybe we’ve got a lot of repressed, unprocessed grief or resentment or guilt or whatever it might be. And also. So much repressed joy, so much repressed peace that we’re not allowing ourself to sit in and receive. And so it’s, I love that you’re bringing this up because I’m seeing this more and more and it’s something I want to start talking about more and more of.

We have to, to your point, exactly. We almost, some of us have to develop a tolerance for the light emotions. I don’t really label emotions good or bad. They’re more like maybe heavier light, but I see this even within myself where. Particularly heightened states like excitement are actually very dysregulating for me.

And I finally started [00:25:00] to recognize that pattern where why is it that I get super excited about this new project I want to do with my business, with clients, and I can live in that space for like, 30 minutes and then I have the shutdown again because that heightened state of activity and energy, even though it’s a good one or, or, uh, a light one, an exciting one is actually really overwhelming for my system.

And I think that’s something that’s not talked about enough too, is it’s not just, Ooh, we have to sort of clear out some of the repressed heaviness. We also need to be intentional about bringing. In some of this lightness. And I, I think to myself, how many people are either a living in a chronic state of anxiety, fear, or neutrality.

Neutrality

Kate Starr: huge, right? Like it really is about, I work with a lot of clients who are like, technically everything’s fine right now. Right. Like I’m content, I’m fine. And still I feel that [00:26:00] I’m not able to enjoy all that I’ve created. Right. And that is super hard for these like strong, resilient, incredible women who have been through a range of different experiences.

I’m sure, especially with your clients as well, going through new experiences now in present day to work so hard to build all these things and then feel like I can’t even enjoy it. Right. Um, And I can’t think of anything that would feel more kind of disheartening or heavy, like you said, I also don’t use good or bad, but heavy than feeling like you are watching your life kind of from the window outside instead of fully being able to engage and to be present in it.

Leigh Ann: completely. That was, I think for me, a big thing recognizing, whoa, I’m, I never get too low, but I also never really get that high emotionally. And I’m living in this very narrow window. And from the outside looking in, I think a lot of people would say, wow, you’re just so [00:27:00] calm and grounded and it, you know, maybe joyful to an extent, but there was a whole range of emotion that for probably five years, it just felt like I couldn’t access on either side.

And I think that’s important to know because some people listening might go, no, no, I’m not in that chronic anxiety, chronic fear state. I might also not be in that really depressive, low, apathetic state. But when we pause and go, are you just neutral? Is everything just always like that middle of the road?

And, you know, here to say, hey, no, life. can be so full of joy and abundance of peace and joy and uplifting. Again, also not that we’re living there all the time, 24 seven, but being in that place of neutrality, that if that was me, like I’d perk up and go, Oh, maybe there’s a little bit more than this.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. Right. We were kind of speaking to this before talking about this before that when you [00:28:00] come into a space of Regulation, so I think it’s really important to make the distinction between a dysregulated state That you feel literally stuck in and you’re in a cycle and in a moment of dysregulation, right?

So we experience stress we experience dysregulation. I experience it I’m a nervous system coach, but I don’t get stuck in it. It doesn’t become my entire reality Right. And so when we’re talking about healing the nervous system, and what it actually means for me, what was really important is to move off the identity eventually of healing and into growing.

So I didn’t feel like I was constantly just seeing myself as a project that had to cap. Keeping worked on,

Leigh Ann: it

Kate Starr: looked like that level of safety, allowing me to embrace the diversity and robustness of my human experience, that sadness or anger or. You know, feeling off about something stressed or anxious about [00:29:00] something wasn’t bad, right?

It was simply another part of me as a human being, another protective piece of me coming out and a teacher in a lot of ways, right? And in that same vein, me feeling joyful or connected or whatever, it wasn’t good. It was another piece of my experience and something to be celebrated. To the same degree that I can also celebrate those moments that I do feel a little dysregulation and have an opportunity to come back to myself to kind of repair it myself in that situation and deepen my relationship with self going forward.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, I think it’s worth taking a second to talk about some of the potential downstream effects of chronic dysregulation, right? What you’re speaking to living in chronic states, not just moments, but these chronic states, we’ve talked a bit about kind of the unpleasantness that comes with just feeling anxious all the time, feeling fearful all the time, or the reverse [00:30:00] feeling shut down, unmotivated.

That’s more kind of the psyche based impact of this, but it’s worth note noting that when your nervous system is chronically dysregulated, it. Is going to start to have a lot of physiological impacts and can you speak to that a little bit?

Kate Starr: Yeah, absolutely. I, I’ve shared this on a post before, but it’s this idea of, you know, dysregulation doesn’t start with the panic attacks with the autoimmune conditions with, um, the body, you know, rejecting parts of itself or the dissociation, right?

It starts a lot earlier. And so without fear mongering, because I never want to. Make somebody feel that they are somewhere that they don’t resonate with yet, right? That is their own journey to self discovery. At the same time, we really don’t see the early signs off and you and I both shared that. It felt like we were suddenly unable to even do the dishes or get out of bed.

Right? But it wasn’t sudden. And I’m sure now looking back hindsight 20, [00:31:00] you can see those little elements that we’re building up. Right? Um, in terms of, you know, the work. physiological symptoms that we see. One of the greatest ones is different types of gut symptoms. We know that gut brain access is so critical in our healing, right?

And that our gut is like our second brain. Um, so gut symptoms in a variety of ways, acid reflux, um, different types of. You know, inconsistencies, bloating, feeling lethargic after meals, et cetera, et cetera. We see a lot of physical ailments that come from tension, stress, like muscle soreness and aching, right?

That we just maybe notice every day at work we’re always like, Oh, there’s something in my shoulder here and aching at us, right? And then when you get deeper into somatic work, which I’m sure we’ll speak about, you see that as a representation of, in some ways, an emotional holding or a holding from an experience, right?

Um, In addition to that, you know, the brain fog, not feeling like you’re as clear in your [00:32:00] thinking, um, the feeling of constant rumination. So a little bit more on the mental side there, but almost feeling like you are addicted to cycling in a way of thinking you can’t get out of these like either impending doom situations or memories from the past, right?

Um, and this, you know, those are very internal and we see it manifest into things like cell phone addiction, dude scrolling, right? And. Um, like you spoke about, you know, maybe giving it all our all at work, but not texting friends back. So as these internal states start to happen in our body and in our mind.

I think it really starts to transform into a greater issue of ability to connect, ability to kind of show up in the world feeling good, like feeling good in ourselves, feeling strong, feeling, um. Like we aren’t just dealing with some new symptom every day that keeps coming up. [00:33:00]

Leigh Ann: Yeah, it’s, it’s, I think it’s sometimes difficult because there is a level of malaise that I think is just normal now.

Um, or common. Where everyone is. Yeah. Yeah. I sleep bad. Of course. Or yeah, I’m always tired. And it’s become so common that they don’t immediately trigger something in our brain of like, Oh no, no, no. This isn’t normal. It might be common, but it’s not normal. These are signs. These are cues that something’s brewing.

And to that point, I think in this world of. holistic medicine, we, we want to be preventative. It’s sort of like, how can we listen and respond when it’s just the little sparks before, you know, we’re talking about fires in LA before it becomes this raging fire that is so hard to control. But it’s hard sometimes because conventional medicine really doesn’t approach it that way.

It’s sort of like, no, the house isn’t burning down yet. So we’re not going to do [00:34:00] anything.

Kate Starr: Exactly, exactly. And it really is when you’re going to be in this space. As a client, right? So, of course, as practitioners, but we’ve kind of like been through it and we, we have a very strong understanding of the importance of prevention.

But as a client, when you make the decision to take a preventative approach and also approach, like what I love about, you know, our work in the work and focusing on the nervous system, that feels in a way, self healing, right? Like you are utilizing these cells to help yourself to heal and you can use other elements that are supportive or supplemental, but it’s like powerful.

You’re getting to learn how to set yourself up for ongoing success and. Feel this, like, ability to truly rely on yourself, right? Going forward, not to mention, um, you know, the families that are excited to pass these emotional regulation skills down to their children and down to different generations or to friends and family, right?

It’s, it’s [00:35:00] really contagious and it is. I think the most powerful thing you can do for your health is saying, I’m going to support it beforehand and not wait until it gets bad. Cause I’m worth more than putting my needs off to the side until it’s bad enough that I have no choice.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. Yeah. And it’s a mindset shift, but having people like you, like me to kind of help support that and explain why it’s important, I think is so impactful.

So now let’s talk about, okay, how do we start to reverse some of this? And, I, I have, you know, a framework in my mind when I work with clients looking at, we need to look at what I call present day turbulence and past turbulence to understand what is contributing to this state I’m in. Both are very, very important.

And this is why I was so excited to talk to you because I think you have a very similar approach where in one of my pet pees with a lot of what I see around nervous system work on social media these days is [00:36:00] It’s, it’s kind of the end all be all, all you need to do is nervous system work. Just do these nervous system regulation techniques and practices and you’re going to be healed and everything’s going to reverse itself.

But I think there’s, there’s two big things that are missing there that I’d love to chat out with you a little bit more. One is right. I see, um, I break emotional work down into two categories. There’s work that is soothing. It’s just soothing our nervous system. And then there’s work that’s solving, that’s asking the question, Well, why am I chronically dysregulated in the first place?

If we’re never asking that question and doing work around that, then we’re just soothing. And because we’re not addressing the cause of the dysregulation, we’re just going to need to soothe more and more and more and more. And yes, it’s amazing that we have tools like nervous system stuff. And all these different things that don’t have crazy side effects to help soothe us, right?

Like, I’m, I love that people are [00:37:00] turning to meditation and breath work and somatics instead of maybe alcohol and drugs and, and some of these things, but we still need to go. Am I ever getting to that solving piece or am I just perpetually soothing because I’m not changing any of the present dynamics that are contributing to this or addressing any of the past turbulence that contributed to this.

So that’s my spiel. Now you go.

Kate Starr: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. And I love that breakdown. Um, because to me, anything that says like management. It wasn’t good enough for me, right? I always talk about how in my healing journey, I was unwilling to settle. And to me, I know it sounds funny, but like settling to me also meant that I had like a 20 step daily routine that I had to do every day or something I had to, I knew like I have a panic attack.

So here’s my process and here are my steps that I was married to. And essentially if I didn’t maintain this, then. You know, I was just gonna what felt like spiral [00:38:00] go off the rails. Right? That felt scary to me in by nature. That was, you know, a level of unsafety. So I, I can’t agree with you more on the importance of balancing the why and the what.

Right? I think. Often when my clients come to me, they’ve done a lot of the why they’re very, very smart women. They can write a book on their minds. Like I don’t need to connect more dots for them. And I actually find that especially with some of what we’re seeing with neuroscience now and how much our memories and how we heal from them is so much more about how they feel to us than the actual facts of the experience itself.

That just like you looking at limiting beliefs and not. Needing to always know exactly why we hold a belief to the T, right? But noticing that it is something that has occurred in our past and we can see examples of it. We can approach that with kindness and compassion. And then moving into the what.

Essentially, what can I do to create more [00:39:00] safety?

Leigh Ann: Now

Kate Starr: and going forward, right? Um, and it’s a balance because if somebody is stuck in a nervous system state, then you don’t want to keep them stuck and constantly thinking about the past. But I find that. We just like you’re saying there’s either nervous system coaches who go the extreme of self soothing So it’s all in that direction or there’s you know Talk therapists or maybe other types of mental health support or practitioners who go fully into the like dig into the past and only Figure out why the intellectualization Yeah So what I found in my process is the foundation the very first thing I do with clients is set an expectation around Limiting beliefs, exploring those more deeply talking about expansive beliefs.

So again, not positive, negative, good or bad, right? And what’s going to expand you, right? Um, and then from there, integrating elements of inner child work and parts work. So before we even get [00:40:00] to the body stuff, right, there’s almost a need for that ability to connect with the concept of. A younger you having these beliefs, not being bad, nothing in you trying to sabotage you keep the word self sabotage, right?

Because it’s all actually trying to protect you. Exactly. And I would say alongside that is really setting the expectation of a mindset shift into curiosity. Versus into self blame, willpower, pressuring, right, and seeing resistance to a practice is actually information from our nervous system to guide us in the direction that we need to go.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. A thousand percent. I just, I love, I mean, we’re so aligned on this, that there’s. We need both. And this is why in my practice, I do the, the work, the one on one with clients. And a lot of that is more psyche based what’s going on in the unconscious mind. But then there’s a whole set of [00:41:00] resources. I have a whole platform with.

the vagus nerve and the regulation and the breathwork and the techniques and it’s being able to address the psyche side of it and the body based side of healing, but then also equip them to be able to know what do I need in this moment to start to address that. But yes, I’m just, I’m very wary of.

anyone who’s taking the all or nothing approach on either end of that spectrum. And I think what we’re both saying here is at some point, it’s just going to plateau and you’re not going to be able to get that full healing or whatever the word might be that we want to use here for that.

Kate Starr: Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. It is going to just feel like you. Have to continue in that process, right? And I would, you know, argue that also the living fully in the past hyper intellectualization can actually be more harmful than supportive, right? And maybe you could argue to the extreme of living only in self soothing allows us to keep up an [00:42:00] identity of always being broken.

This is something I deal with forever. I will always have this thing and I can never move forward. And so any extremes in this space. I found in my experience and with clients actually do more harm than good. You can often keep us living in the conscious mind, trying to think our way out of it, right? Um, or do our way out of it instead of coming back to that understanding of root cause healing as creating a deep felt sense of safety

Leigh Ann: from

Kate Starr: which the way that we view the world ourselves, these beliefs, et cetera, is not so.

damaging is not so as a threat or threatening, right?

Leigh Ann: Limited confining to your point. Again, it’s amazing that we might have the breath work, the meditation, the nervous system tools, but I don’t want to be dependent on those either. And I, I see a lot of people who come in and they’re like, I meditate every day.

I do, you know, there’s a list of 10 [00:43:00] things they do every single day, but it’s gotten to a point where if they miss one day of that or two days of that, their whole foundation is completely gone. And even though, again, these are tools that don’t have all these really negative side effects, it’s still a dependency.

I want you to have freedom. Even if they’re, even if they’re like non toxic things, I don’t want you dependent on those either. I want you to have freedom and resilience and fluidity that you don’t have to live the perfect day to feel great.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. Absolutely. Like today myself and I, and it’s funny because a lot of my clients being type a or just kind of like they’re, you know, they Want to show me the work they’ve done and that’s like super incredible, but on the flip side of that comes a fear of even sometimes telling me if they haven’t done something.

Right? And the irony being, of course, this is earlier [00:44:00] on. And then when they get to know me and see me and my approach, I’m like, so celebratory when they haven’t done something because. What did you learn from it? How did you feel? Oh, actually felt pretty. Okay. Well, that’s a testament to the fact. You don’t need to do all these things to the same degree anymore.

Or, oh, you felt really off. Okay. So we need to set a stronger foundation here and move into more safety building with the goal. Like, we’re both sharing of eventually. Just kind of being able to flow with the way life goes, right? Like, I don’t have a super strict daily routine. There are things that I love to do regularly that support me.

Um, and then there’s totally times where it doesn’t happen. But I don’t come out of that. unable to get back to myself or get back to the things that I love, I come out of it and go, yeah, I missed a few of these things. Like I’m going to do better going forward. No blame and able to very quickly find that motivation again, to get back there.

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It has three organic, amazing, super clean ingredients, chlorophyll, parsley, and mint. But what I think is also amazing about this is it’s It’s a capsule you take once a day and it’s really going to help the underarm odor, but it’s also going to just help with [00:46:00] body odor in general. So it’s going to impact odor in all different places versus deodorant that is really only addressing odor that is coming from the underarms.

I think especially just in the world we live in today because we’re exposed to so many different toxins, despite our best efforts. Having a product like this that is just part of the daily routine to support your body gently every single day in Detoxing purging toxins for me really is a must in part of my daily routine So check the show notes below for a link to the it just works deodorant capsules as well as a discount code So let’s dive into more of first of all your specific process and techniques but How do we start to repair this?

We’re in chronic fight flight or we’re in a free state. How do we start to really repair the nervous system? And I think what I want to start with, because [00:47:00] I think it’s helpful to have this framework in mind, is how long it can take. Obviously, there’s so much nuance to that answer. It can be different for everyone, but I think that’s important to start with because I think some people might go, Oh, I just do a month of nervous system work, and then it’s going to reset everything.

And, and then with that expectation, a month goes by and maybe things are better, but we’re still experiencing stuff. It can be really disheartening. So I think I’m being able to understand the nervous system and how long some of these things can take can just be helpful too for expectations.

Kate Starr: Yeah, I love that you asked that.

I am so wary of like six, eight weeks, like whatever programs that, you know, are also very much on now a timeline basis where you don’t know what’s going to come up for you fully. These are the things, the tools, if they’re used, you know, appropriately, um, whether that is an element of somatic subconscious work, however it looks, or hopefully a combination of all of the above that are opening up [00:48:00] things you’ve spent years pushing down.

Right. So the idea that within a couple weeks You would just reset it as if it’s almost like a machine, you push a button on and now everything’s gone or, you know, back to baseline is I think malpractice anyone who kind of perpetuates that idea just for their sales or, you know, for their marketing, right?

My program is a year. Um, with a six month intensive and now we do a six month aftercare because what we found is clients of ours can get out of a stuck state fairly quickly. I would say, you know, 2 to 3 months, right? Like, with the right support tools, feeling like they have an open space, vulnerability, et cetera.

They’re not stuck anymore,

Leigh Ann: but

Kate Starr: they’re still now with not being stuck having to face and heal all of the emotions that they kind of repressed or rejected. In the past. Plus they’re all like busy, [00:49:00] successful women. They have tons of life stressors coming in at the same time. They’re kind of recalibrating their way of approaching themselves from the past.

Right? So while I don’t think it has to take a year to heal your nervous system, I think. You need to give yourself sufficient time to then ride the waves of ups and downs that are important to have support throughout so that you can really reinforce these new beliefs that you’ve started to, you know, hold in to your subconscious or bring into your subconscious, bring into your body, right?

We’re talking about beliefs. If you’ve had for decades, it’s going to take a little time to really. strengthen those neural pathways around these new ways of thinking and relating to self.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. I just, I love that you’re saying this because to your point, it’s right again, this nuance of, on the one hand, I don’t think we need to be struggling in therapy for years and years and years to see progress.

And that’s a lot of what I hear from my clients. On the other hand, [00:50:00] we can experience shifts very quickly. I think especially when we’re combining psyche and body based techniques together, we can see shifts so quickly. And if we want the longevity, if we want the sustainability of that change, that’s that longer journey, that’s that longer game.

But I think that’s actually really hopeful and exciting to go, Ooh, I can get out of. the thick of this, right? Maybe the, um, the hopelessness or just the heaviness of my day to day quite quickly so that you’re on a better place so that all this continued work we want to do is actually going to be so much easier and more accessible to you because we’ve gotten out of that place.

But to your point, you know, the metaphor coming up for me is like, If your car was stuck in a mud pile, we can get you out of that mud pretty quick, but we got to make sure you’re not just driving straight back into another mud pile.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think, you know, when we have lived in a survival state, [00:51:00] so much of what we do and how we think is in fear, right.

Related to fear. And so there’s also the importance of clients having time or individuals having time to feel safe with feeling stressed. Where they don’t feel that a moment of stress or a day of stress, or even a week of stress is them backsliding. There’s the importance of recognizing that with all this new information, these tools, these deeper practices, and you know, I’m sure we’ll talk a little bit more about how we go deeper kind of.

As we progress, but that there is no backsliding because you have too many new perspectives. Your pain tolerance goes down, but in a good way, right? You’re not going to push yourself to the same degree and that window of tolerance can permanently expand. And so, in order to successfully hold on to these new ways of feeling the safety, we really do need that element of reinforcement and [00:52:00] also.

You want to get somebody to the point where they are like excited about this work as opposed to just feeling like, I hate that I have to do this. I hate that I’m here because this work is also the foundation of deeper self exploration of, you know, finding out who we are and who we want to be in the world.

That is a journey that carries us through our entire lives. Right.

Leigh Ann: Mm hmm. A thousand percent. So take us into your, your approach. Soma Neuro alignment a little bit, but yeah, how, how, where do we begin? How, what is some of this journey? What are some of, for you when you’re working with clients, those big starting points, touch points of this is so critical to, you know, healing, rebalancing the nervous system.

Kate Starr: Yes. So, so my neural alignment is our deeper practice and we actually do not get clients started on that for like a couple months, right? Because, you know, a really important idea is titration is [00:53:00] of taking our time, easing into things. Again, because these tools can look fairly simple on the outside, but what they’re doing is having us come into a body that we’ve often pushed away or ignored or not wanted to feel or sensations that we’ve been afraid of or deemed as bad or that we shouldn’t be feeling, right?

So the tools and techniques can sometimes seem easy to access, and I think we forget that. As we continue to do them, we are bringing up a lot. We are, you know, kind of coming out of that stage of dissociation or just kind of like conflict with ourselves and into feeling everything and that’s intense, right?

So when I start with a client, I mean really the kind of foundations or the things that I want to introduce is less around like. Full blown like somatic sequences or how to do somatic and is more around [00:54:00] somatic. Curiosity simply just learning the practice of checking in and noticing things in the body without judgment without having to figure out why that’s showing up, but simply noticing and bringing more awareness into the body.

Right? And as we progress from there. Alongside subconscious tools that help us to connect more deeply with self, you know, visualizations that bring up positive semantics, or I shouldn’t even say positive, but like, bring up joyous somatic sensations, right? Um, different types of, like we said, inner child work or uplifting hypnosis that are around.

Showing you how you can actually create safe sensation in your body, somatic pendulation, right? Being able to notice an area of discomfort and then pendulate between that in an area of okayness and notice that while our minds will really attune us to any type of discomfort, we actually can always find at least some place that feels okay.

Amongst all the stress, the [00:55:00] conflict, the chaos, right? Those concepts. And an understanding of how critical they are to our ability to feel safe within ourselves has to be at the foundation before somebody can even move into a deeper practice because either deeper practice will open up a lot too quickly that like, wow, I haven’t just like been with myself for a full hour before and now I’m in it and I’m just feeling overwhelmed.

Or you’ll be there and you’ll be like, I don’t get it. Like, what am I supposed to be doing here?

Leigh Ann: Mm-hmm . Right? Mm-hmm .

Kate Starr: And so that’s really how we build up to Soma Neuro. Now, Soma Neuro is a mix of somatics with subconscious work, right? And so the two coming together,

Leigh Ann: I love . I’m obsessed like, this is my dream.

I’m like, yes, body, unconscious body like we need. both. We need to be dialoguing with both, learning about both. [00:56:00] So I’m so excited. Please continue.

Kate Starr: Amazing. Amazing. Yes. I mean, I love it. And I’m so, it was It’s life changing for me and I wasn’t, you know, taught it by anyone specifically, but it came from all of this research and I’m sure you’ve, you know, spoken with clients before I’ve experienced this.

There’s so many women I work with who have gone to like a hypnotist or have gone to, you know, a, any type of unconscious work practitioner. And they’ll just be like, okay, we’re going into it now. Like snap of fingers, like, here we go. And they’re like, great. I spent 40 minutes thinking about my to do list and I got 20 minutes of relaxation or whatever the timeframe is.

Right. When we look at this from these, you know, kind of viewpoint of somebody who is in dysregulation and really stuck there, the body does not want to just. Stay super still. It does not want to allow you to forget all of the rational, conscious thoughts that you feel are your control, your stability in that situation, and it doesn’t want you to [00:57:00] relax because we’re not wired towards thriving and rest.

We’re wired towards survival. So safety needs to be met first before we can. Get relaxation truly and allow ourselves to calm down and enjoy just a moment presently. Right? So in soma neuro, we start with somatic sequences for both a mix of myofascial release and also creating enough safety that the mind can sink into an alpha brainwave state.

So a more unconscious slower brainwave frequency from there, from that space after about, usually about 30 or so minutes of somatic. So I’ve run sessions as long as two hours, right? So it just depends on the level of advanced and you know, the level of depth you’re going to then moving into subconscious practices because the mind is more malleable.

The body is off guard. Everything’s being absorbed better. And because you’ve just moved through semantics and you’re more attuned into your [00:58:00] body, whatever the subconscious work brings up to you in terms of emotions and stations, you feel that you have the space and capacity to hold and to truly bring into.

you know, a level of feeling that is deeper beyond just trying to will your way into a level of lightness,

Leigh Ann: right? Yes. I want to pause on a couple of things here. One, this is in my opinion, one of the reasons why I think just traditional talk therapy on its own. can feel like it takes so long is we are being asked to talk about uncomfortable adverse events trauma our nervous system is getting activated and we’re not doing anything.

to address that feeling of unsafety or that activation and the analogy I often give clients is when we’re so dysregulated we’re trying to look inward and get clarity but it’s like if if in our inner self is like a tide pool when we’re so dysregulated it’s like the waves are just [00:59:00] crashing and crashing and crashing and we can’t see what’s going on in the tide pools when we regulate with whatever that looks like somatics all these different tools It helps calm those waves so that we can look into the tide pools and get so much more clarity.

And to your point, so much more surfaces. I, I particularly in my sessions use a technology called Evox where we’re measuring the tones of emotions. We’re outputting balancing frequencies. And I think it’s, it’s doing a similar thing where it’s calming the nervous system so that. So much more can surface, but I just want to highlight why I think that’s so impactful that regulation that you’re doing first and to that end.

So what I’m hearing you say is maybe we should also define somatic. Um, you use a specific word after that somatic. Processes or flows or something.

Kate Starr: Oh,

Leigh Ann: somatic sequences. Somatic sequences, maybe

Kate Starr: we can [01:00:00] define for

Leigh Ann: the audience a little bit more.

Kate Starr: Yeah, absolutely. So, there’s so many different ways to practice somatic.

And at the end of the day, somatic just means of the body, right? So, eventually, I want everyone I work with. To be able to intuitively know what their body is craving and take those somatic movements by listening, not by just watching me do it or having to follow somebody to do what the body is craving.

Right. But in the interim, we put together and sequence somatic sequences. That allow for different spaces of the body to become more open, that are slow, that are, um, very delicate movements, just, you know, a couple inches here and there, that create some release in our fascia, which is our connective tissue across all of our muscles, organs, everything, where we often breathe and hold stress, right,

Leigh Ann: [01:01:00] as

Kate Starr: well as bring online The parasympathetic system so that we truly are able to rest and calm down before heading into any type of subconscious work.

So somatics for me are both myofacial release, like allowing that seizure to be opened up, allowing for, you know, emotions to come up as a result of holdings in the body. Mm-hmm .

Leigh Ann: But they’re

Kate Starr: also really pleasant, nice movements that we just are allowed to bask in. And that by nature indicates to our system, Hey, you’re safe enough to be feeling this way.

Leigh Ann: Right. So to just parrot that back in layman’s terms, it’s maybe 30, 30 minutes or so of different guided gentle movements that that client is going through to help basically communicate safety to the body. Exactly. And does that for you involve things like. breathwork and vagus nerve exercises? Or is [01:02:00] it more the body movements?

Kate Starr: Great question. So it involves a whole host of things. We do vagal toning. And so we have, you know, vagal toning practices that clients will start out with before they even move into deeper somatic. And then we integrate elements of both craniosacral micro movements, as well as vagal toning into our somatic sequences, right?

So what’s really cool about figuring out how to move for your body, how to move in ways that is supporting the vagus nerve, the parasympathetic system, is you can kind of start to like mix and match. Like you almost become a fitness coach, but for the nervous system, right? And eventually you can do it for yourself.

In my experience, while breathing and certain types of breath work, like diaphragmatic breathing and different types of breathing to almost increase awareness of the breath and If it’s staying, you know, high in the chest versus moving further into the body to help our That’s breathing. So a lot of [01:03:00] times it’s going to be in the state of state.

But it’s not like okay, we’re breathing deeply, we’re okay. We’re safe. Right? However, what I found in my practice and what a lot of my clients who have tried breath work as well as found is that at times certain breathing practices can be too restricted.

Leigh Ann: So

Kate Starr: if we are in a heightened state, Our body is just craving to do whatever it feels it needs to do to come out of it.

Yeah, I think he’s like anger somatics, like punching the air, kicking, you know, et cetera, et cetera. Right. But also if we try to force our breath or really force our body to sit still or force our breath to be normal, then we are. Saying essentially that the way our body is responding, that is its natural response to a stressful situation is in some way wrong or not good, and it can cause some conflict.

I find an actually increased feeling of threat.

Leigh Ann: Mm-hmm .

Kate Starr: And kind of. a level of inability [01:04:00] to allow for those types of responses to come through.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, and kind of an incomplete cycle. It’s sort of like forcing, forcing something to immediately halt, which is very, very jarring, especially if we’re starting to talk about the deeper narratives, right?

I think the deeper narrative in those hyperactive states like fight and flight is If I slow down, something bad will happen. So if we force ourself into stagnancy and stillness, that can almost then heighten those alarm signals because your brain’s going, no, no, no. But if I slow down, it could be worse.

And so it is kind of that, how can I let some of this energy discharge and first move through and allow my, allow myself to actually do the thing my brain is thinking it needs so that it naturally can start to regulate and then I can bring in some of these other tools.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. I love that you talked about completing the cycle because that’s exactly it, right?

Like, we’re not always trying to get rid of a response, [01:05:00] right? Say that a response is not okay, or something we don’t want. I mean, of course, we don’t want to feel so reactive or at kind of the. Full control of our body’s mechanisms without being able to process through what’s coming up for us, but oftentimes we do kind of sell ourselves short a little bit when we say that we aren’t allowed to feel angry or we aren’t allowed to want to punch it below or we have to sit still and use force and willpower to tell ourselves what is an appropriate way of feeling something versus what is the way we truly want to feel it.

What is our body asking for right now? Mm

Leigh Ann: hmm. Yeah, it’s actually, it seems counterintuitive, but it really, for me, oftentimes it’s talking to clients about just. observe, just be without trying to immediately change it, just be. And, and so sometimes for me, that’s I’m feeling hyperactive. I get out, I walk and I’m walking really fast and I will just walk as fast for as long as my body needs to.

[01:06:00] And then it’s naturally starts to slow down. But sometimes trying to immediately force a change is actually very counterproductive versus just going, Ooh, my heart’s racing right now. I’m just going to observe that. And not do anything to immediately try and change it or whatever, whatever else that might look like.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. And we live in a fix me culture, right? Like, we very much live in a culture of quick fixes of like, take this, do this, do this treatment, whatever. Right? And we’ll often hear them referred to as kind of like bandaid approaches and maybe consciously. We all recognize that, but let’s be honest.

Subconsciously, if you are still feeling stuck, you want nothing more than to feel better. It is so easy to fall into that trap of kind of what do I do right now to fix what is happening as if what’s happening in you is in some way wrong. Or like you said, you’re broken or something like that. Right? So observations, curiosity, almost [01:07:00] Feeling like you’re the experimentee and the experimenter, right, and taking kind of data on yourself and learning from it is such a huge part of the process, and that takes a long time to adjust to, right, because we have these narratives from ourselves, from how we were raised, or just society as a whole in the health industry.

It’s like a really powerful step, um, that sets up the foundation of how you show up to your life. Not so concerned that you’re always going to fail or make a mistake, but really knowing that you can always learn from that and get better as a result.

Leigh Ann: I love that the experimenter and the experimentee.

Beautiful. So we were doing these. Somatic processes, soothing the nervous system, grounding ourself in a little bit, then that takes them to more unconscious stuff. And can you speak to that a little bit?

Kate Starr: Yeah, absolutely. So the unconscious work, right, the somatic allowing you to come into a more restful state [01:08:00] to me.

All of our unconscious work is geared entirely around creating the concept of safety and then allowing that as it develops in the subconscious mind to actually in real time or in reality become somatic sensations in the body. And we know through bioplasticity, right? Our body is really powerful, just as our mind through neuroplasticity at learning kind of where we want to go and deciding, oh, that’s what we’re working towards.

That’s something that we want. That’s a reward system that we’re getting. This feels a lot nicer. Let’s move in this direction. What’s going to support us and getting there. Right? So it builds this intrinsic motivation and also often when we’ve been stuck for so long, we might be able to say what we know we’d like in the future, but we haven’t felt it in so long that it feels still out of reach.

Right? And so through creating and bringing awareness to the body, and then [01:09:00] using unconscious work to create these uplifting, joyous, safe, you know, experiences in the body,

Leigh Ann: we

Kate Starr: support our ability to really hone in on what it is we’re working on.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. Oh, go ahead. How are you guiding into the unconscious?

Is that through prompts, guided meditations? It does sound like you’re doing some element of visualization too, where we’re, I might call that like subconscious modeling. We’re modeling to our brain something we want to expand into. But For so many people. I know that because this is what I do every day, right?

The idea of the unconscious and that person initially being like, well, how do I know what’s in my unconscious? It’s unconscious. So yeah. How are you guiding that for them?

Kate Starr: That’s a great question. And this is why I find soma neuro is so powerful is that it’s essentially a plug and play, right? So for clients that I work with one on one, I create specific sequences, visualizations, or [01:10:00] hypnosis for them.

And then in a group setting, I give a variety, right? So we, or anyone could, gear in with somatics and then move into visualization, a gut hypnosis, um, sometimes timeline types of visualizations, other time, coursework visualizations, intertiled visualizations. Um, the options are pretty endless and I would say that is the power of it.

So long as whatever you’re moving into after a somatic sequence. Is intended to create compassion towards self is intended to create a sense of safety in self and not sending somebody into a deep trauma memory, for example, unless they have decided that that’s kind of the direction they want to go.

Leigh Ann: To me, nervous

Kate Starr: system regulation work is about helping the body and mind to register deeply that we are safe in the present moment [01:11:00] so the past can truly feel like it’s in the past.

Whereas the more maybe trauma based approach or psychodynamic approach would be to work through everything in the past in the hopes that if we process enough of that, we feel safe in the present. We’re

Leigh Ann: kind of going

Kate Starr: the opposite direction.

Leigh Ann: Yeah, yeah, I totally hear that. And like we were saying earlier, living in the past, just sometimes I think that we’re just swimming in the past and then we lose the sense of why we’re doing it there.

If we are going to pass, which I do think is sometimes necessary, it has to be with so much more intention. And again, not just. to repeat what happened, because we know what happened. Most people know what happened. It’s more of what were those imprints. But yeah, again, finding that balance and that nuance of, I don’t need to totally go to the past to have safety in the future.

Um, but we need a little bit of both here and there. So yes, but to me, so it sounds like we’re [01:12:00] guiding them. We’re giving them really specific. Um, resources to guide them through the somatic component and then we’re giving them really specific resources to guide them through the unconscious component.

Kate Starr: Yes. And I will tell you when I work with clients, like I am on a mat on the floor, right? If it’s a live session in Soma Neuro, like I am doing movements in a full sequence on the floor that they’re watching. I am taking them into whatever type of unconscious practice we have planned for that day with a lot of information on how it’s going to look at the forefront because I do think the element of surprise is not in our favor in this instance, right?

But I will tell you, in addition, we found a lot of success through what’s called dream time journey after somatics as well. And so we will sometimes do a longer somatic sequence to come into that alpha, that unconscious, restful state. And then with different types of music or different types of binaural beats or etc, etc, actually take.

[01:13:00] My voice or the talking element out of it and just allow images to come up

Leigh Ann: that

Kate Starr: may have their own direction for clients moving forward. And that to me is a really, it’s like transformational process and that’s really what I was taught as I was working towards my nervous system regulation practitioner.

Um, certification was the dream time journey and how that can allow us to without judgment and always needing to know why in some ways release different feelings, images, memories, emotions that come up

Leigh Ann: completely. This is, I mean, I love that you do this in depth psychology. We would call this active imagination in some ways where it’s, you’re letting your mind go wherever it goes and whatever comes up is coming up for a reason.

And just. Developing and it is, it’s a skill we have to develop of just following it and not all of a sudden like interjecting a direction for it always, but just [01:14:00] observing what’s coming up is so, so powerful.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. And I also think in any of these practices, right? I always hear, you know, oh, I fell asleep or like, I just, I didn’t think about anything like that.

I do it wrong. And what a gift. Like, if you’ve been in a state of survival for so long to be able to fall asleep midday during a practice when you can’t even get yourself to rest without thinking about to do lists or responsibilities or that your mind was able to just Be kind of still and like really just enjoying what you were doing for your body and then lying there, right?

I think the beauty of all of this stuff as we Diversify and allow that combination of body and unconscious work to come together is that there are no rules There is no wrong. There is no, right and The insight client being, you know, even a couple of days, a week after the process, you know, the a ha sour moments where it’s suddenly something comes,

Leigh Ann: they’re like, where

Kate Starr: did that come from?[01:15:00]

And it’s powerful to know that it came from you opening yourself up in a more deep way and without having to decide what your feelings must look like, you can now take that insight and genuinely integrate it into the work that you’re doing.

Leigh Ann: Yes. Oh my gosh. I could, there’s so many other places I could go with this.

What I think will land this plane down with though is one, I’d love if you could just quickly speak to what you see your clients. Um, you know, the shifts and what this allows them to begin to step into and embody, right? There might be the obvious, Oh, well, you’re just calmer. You’re more peaceful, but it is, it’s so much more than that.

And so I’d love to hear what you’re seeing. It allows clients to be able to step into in their life. And then I would love for you to just talk about how people can work with you. It sounds like you do both individual and group. So we’ll get to that too.

Kate Starr: Awesome. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean. The way I see it is like this level of radical self [01:16:00] acceptance, right?

It is, as we were talking about before, you, you are, I think, feeling often more calm, more at ease, the little stressors aren’t stressful anymore, right? Like, you feel like you have a healthy response to stress, which means that you have an appropriate reaction, right? Like, if something Survival level is happening.

You should be stressed, right? For your survival and safety, but not when your boss sends like a passive aggressive email or, you know, things that are out of your control or just kind of whipping up your routine or whatever for that day. It’s also about how quickly we can re regulate from stress, right?

So it’s not about.

It’s about how quickly we can go from that state back to a state where we feel calm or at peace or assured in ourselves back to a state of safety. Right? So shortening that kind of timeline. So it doesn’t take us weeks and weeks to get [01:17:00] over something and we’re just ruminating on it. We allow it. Right.

Where I see the greatest guests in my client is truly that level of. Knowing that they will be okay. No matter what. It’s just the expansiveness where they know they now have the power to create safety for themselves. So no longer does life feel so out of their control, but also not in a way where they’re trying to force and control life.

They just have control over how they’re going to feel and respond to the odds and flows of life, right? Yeah. From there, we see greater presence. And like, You see this in how you connect with your partner, your friends, your children, right? How you just even engage in your own life as you move through it, noticing the beauty in it.

Really always feeling this level of gratitude and connection. And if you don’t Also almost feeling gratitude for the fact that you’re not feeling that way that day because you recognize [01:18:00] everything within you is just a part of your experience and is not out to get you. And from there I’ve seen profound shifts in my clients starting businesses, leaving toxic relationships, um, you know, finally getting pregnant after years of trying, but had been so stuck in that survival mode, seeing clients, you know, overcome incredible adversities that have happened.

Outside of their healing journey and also make decisions to, you know, get married, buy a house, travel the world, like the possibilities really become infinite because nervous system regulation to me is like having a superpower. It literally creates more time in your day, more energy in your system because you’re not constantly living.

in reaction and not constantly feeling like there’s a threat right around the corner after the one you’re running from, you know, before.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. I think if I could bring, you know, dilute that [01:19:00] into its simplest, what I hear in that is it’s giving them the capacity to. do whatever they need to create more alignment in their life.

And sometimes it’s the capacity to have hard conversations with family, to set boundaries. Sometimes it’s the capacity to leave a relationship, apply to that big job you want, pursue that really big dream, take a, take a risk in your career. So it’s, It trickles into everything the small day to day things that are misaligned for us and then some of those bigger things to it gives you that capacity to be able to do what you need to do to have more alignment, I think,

Kate Starr: absolutely right.

Like, we will see across Instagram and across, you know, anything related to the nervous system. There are totally these. Physical perks, right? There’s losing weight. There’s feeling like your hormones are balanced. You know, you feel less bloated. We talked about, and for some people, [01:20:00] these are really big concerns.

And these are kind of the primary focus in the beginning. Often for many of us, right? But when you really commit to going deeper and creating that last lasting shift from a root cause approach, you start to truly understand how the nervous system is at the foundation of everything. It is weaving through all that we do because it is how we move through the world.

Not just from a survival perspective, but eventually being able to thrive because we feel safe enough in our survival. That need is met. So now the world is our oyster and we can do anything with it. And so when you stick with it, you know, you get these great benefits. Kind of off the get like pretty quickly, you start to see these kind of physical changes and maybe changes in the ways that you’re feeling on a day to day, or how stressed you’re feeling versus how much more you’re feeling on.

But when you nurture that and allow that to grow and become more reinforced. Then it really, truly turns [01:21:00] into these massive goals that you have for yourself, this ability to even think about the future when in the past you could think maybe a day in advance and otherwise it was too stressful, right? And the confidence to go after that life that you.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. A thousand percent. Oh, I love that so much. Okay. Tell us, please, for those interested, how they can connect with you more, how they can work, what options there are to work with you, where they can find you, et cetera.

Kate Starr: Yes. Awesome. Okay. Absolutely. So I have a program, Nervous System Reset, and this is my only program, because I believe it is exactly what is needed for anyone or any woman who wants to regulate her nervous system.

At this point, I just work with women, and that is from my own experience. And in the future, we’ll hopefully be building out programs for both men and women. Um, but for right now, we work with women. We have group coaching as well as one on one coaching with me, but even in our intimate group coaching program, we still pair each woman with an assigned assistant [01:22:00] coach because we want them to have some element of the one on one, some ability to have their own skills.

space in order to share specifically what’s coming up for them. And so to learn more about the program and how you can join it, you can visit my Instagram, which is at aligned with heat, as well as my website, which is aligned with kate. com.

Leigh Ann: I love it. And those will be linked in the show notes just for clarity, really quick.

So. Are there two main ways or are there three ways? Like there’s one on one group coaching and then just something self paced or no, it’s just one on one group coaching.

Kate Starr: Great question. So we have a mini course that is entirely self paced, but this is a small five day mini course. Then we have our larger nervous system reset program where anyone who joins, whether they are in the primarily small intimate group coaching with the assistant coach one on one.

Or working with me entirely one on one will have access to the program and be able to join all of the group calls. So, uh, the way that we separate it out is [01:23:00] basically up to whether the client feels they need more support in terms of one on one and working with me on an ongoing basis, or if they feel comfortable in a group setting and can still utilize the tools and resources to move forward.

Leigh Ann: Amazing. Okay. Everyone has access to that, the program. It’s just whether they’re going through it in a group dynamic or a one on one dynamic. Exactly. Okay, I love it. That was just a point of, um, I wanted some clarity on that too. Well, Kate, thank you so much. It’s been amazing. Um, like I said, I’ll make sure everything is linked in the show notes below, but I really love this because there’s so much coming up on the nervous system now and social media and all these things.

And so I love being able to just have nuanced Experts and conversations around it to, to, to provide more, yeah, more nuance to these topics that I think get a little bit too diluted.

Kate Starr: Absolutely. And I think it’s really about creating a wider, higher level view of what all of this means, [01:24:00] because I think.

Unfortunately, now, I feel like nervous system regulation has really been kind of boiled down into these kind of buzzwords and like little practices and things like that. And we are really talking about a journey here and a much deeper practice, which, you know, and I think just bringing awareness to that so that we don’t keep having, you know, individuals come to us who were promised 1 thing for this, you know, 30 day or 6 week or whatever program and feel like they keep trying everything and nothing’s working.

Right? So I think the work you’re doing is incredible. It is

Leigh Ann: just

Kate Starr: amazing always to connect with practitioners who get that intersection of both body and unconscious, and you see results, right? It’s powerful.

Leigh Ann: Yeah. Oh, I love that so much. Well, thank you so much for giving all of us your time and expertise.

This is, I think, a really powerful conversation.

Kate Starr: Yes, absolutely. Thank you. So happy to [01:25:00] connect.